An ode to diarrhea

Note: Mothers and Fathers : Please be advised that the following post is not consummable by children below the age of 17. It would be like swallowing a chewing gum. Dont say, I didnt warn ya!

Why Does my bottle of orange juice always hit the expiry date before I even open it ?
Its fucking 13th of January!!! 13 days into the new year and what have y'all have to show for it except broken resolutions ?
I am so weak - I even broke the resolution not to make any more resolutions and I broke that one too.
I mean , y'all are forgiven for you were frickin drunk at midnight on new year's eve when all these resolutions came to you. I dont even have that excuse.

There is loosies in the air .. I mean not literally, that would be a mess. Yuck! But a lot of people are getting it. Blame this one on the fucking rain too ?? Yeah! Baby!
I thought fruits were good for health and I ate a pear and had the loosies. So, stop eating fruits and get with the program. yeah! fries with that too, please. Thank you. And thus I get to "work" from home today.

About those Radio Jockeys who really really bad-mouthed a call center employee from India, they are gone. It was pathetic. Now, that job of the RJs are outsourced too. Thats right. There are gonna be Radio Jockeys pimpin around with stange accents going "wassup y'all" and playing songs from the latest hindi movies. Thats just Pimpin!

So I saw this porn video a few days back, where the guy was wearing a cap on his head and no condom. Isnt that weird ?

Anddddd yes! my furniture is on a buh-bye tomorrow. My apartment is gonna be naked. I alone shall decide what is gonna take its place. Definitely a La-z-boy comes to mind, complete with a beer can holder, microwave oven, refrigerator, remote control holder and a potty. I am still searching for the one with the inflatable woman and when I find it, yowza, I am all set. Yup! one stop shop.

See what all comes to mind when you have the loosies ??? God forbid!